Bloomquist getting his inexplicable extension got my creative juices flowing and persuaded me to write parody lyrics to Chamillionaire’s song, “Ridin’.” Weird Al already spoofed this song, but here’s my version about Willie Bloomquist!

White n’ Dirty
They see me playin’
They hatin’
But stupid fans love me ‘cause I’m white n’ dirty
‘Cause I’m just so white n’ dirty
‘Cause I’m just so white n’ dirty
You know I’m always gettin’ dirty
Yeah, I’m just so white n’ dirty


My average’s so low
I’m swingin’
And missin...but I’m still white n’ dirty
‘Cause I’m just so white n’ dirty
'Cause I'm just so white n' dirty
You know I’m always gettin’ dirty
Yeah, I’m just so white n’ dirty


It’s impossible to keep my jersey clean
My average is so low it can hardly be seen
I had a field in my backyard when I was a teen
But giving me 250 At-bats is just obscene
I fill Kitsap County with glee
In ’99 I was a third-round draftee
Out of Arizona State Univ-er-sity
Barry Zito should be embarrassed by me


Yeah, I make fifth starters look like Halladay
But there isn’t a position I can’t play
The Ignitor’s the best Willie nickname since Say Hey
Can you believe I was on Team USA?
I’m signed through ‘08 and it’s quid pro quo
I hit in college, but I can’t as a pro
But I can steal a base because I’m not slow
Or just warm the bench for Ichiro, fo’ sho!


They see me hustlin’
I’m scrappy
And all the fans love me ‘cause I’m white n’ dirty
‘Cause I’m just so white n’ dirty
‘Cause I’m just so white n’ dirty
You know I’m always gettin’ dirty
Yeah, I’m just so white n’ dirty


I can ground out or fly out, but sac bunts – you know I collect ‘em
With a runner on first, you know I gotta advance him
It’s the little things that don’t show up in a box score
I get a toungebath from the local media
Stop editing my Wikipedia
Some fans think I can play really well
But if I play in front of a scout, I’ll have them ROTFLOL


I’ve got no business in the Major Leagues
But on 9-1-02 I got the call
I hit .455 but the sample size was small
And Jarrod Washburn’s now my dogg, yo
My baseball skills are a little whack
Would I be this popular if I was black?
If the game is close, you better hope my bat stays in the rack
Pop, Pop…damn fly outs to the warning track!
(and Rizzs just had a heart attack!)


I’m scrappy in the extreme
Clutch just like David Ortiz
If you need a sub, then I’m your scrub
And I was voted “Worst Player in MLB”
The only pitcher I didn’t think was hard
Is Barry Zito, who I twice took yard
An extra-base hit for me is rare
Guys in Tacoma know my salary’s unfair


Another 0 for 4
With three strikeouts
But it’s OK ‘cause I’m white n’ dirty
‘Cause I’m just so white n’ dirty
‘Cause I’m just so white n’ dirty
You know I’m always gettin’ dirty
Yeah, I’m just so white n’ dirty


My average’s so low
I’m swingin’
And missin...but I’m still white n’ dirty
‘Cause I’m just so white n’ dirty
'Cause I'm just so white n' dirty
You know I’m always gettin’ dirty
Yeah, I’m just so white n’ dirty

Another week, another late YouTube Friday...

Keith Olberman talks to Steve Dahl on the 25th anniversary of “Disco Demolition Night”


MLB highlight video. Let’s see…the M’s are represented by running into a triple play, Ichiro getting robbed and showing how senile Niehaus has become.


Ouch!


Stan Musial playing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” on his harmonica.


An old “Prep Profile” of Travis Snider


Football bonus: I don’t like straying from baseball on this site – but this is just too cool.

This is old, but ESPN has a baseball quiz that you can take. I got 30/50 questions correct. How many can you get? After you take it, you can compare your score to some current players and ESPN analysts - it's fun!

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving!

Whoops…forgot to put this up on Friday!

Conan plays baseball…1864 style! (Hurry – this probably won’t last long!)


The Phoenix Desert Dogs celebrate their AFL championship.


Chicks Dig The Longball.


More Wii baseball! Oooh…this looks so fun! I totally want one!


These guys at TheBackstop.net have a sports card shop on Long Island and videotape live box breaks. This time they’re opening the new Topps Sterling. It’s semi-entertaining if you’re a card collector, but the best part is near the end. They either made or bought a shirt that’s a collage of all the little jersey swatches that are put into some insert cards these days. Too funny!

While reading the USSMariner comments about Mike Mussina, it made me realize what an underrated pitcher he is. First of all, did the Yankees get a good deal, or what? Moose’s deal is reportedly in the 2/23 range. Doesn’t his agent (Arn Tellem) realize that inferior pitchers are going to make more money? How does he let that happen? Who gives the Yankees a discount? Like I said before, I’d gladly give Mussina 2/30 before I give Schmidt 3/45 or 4/55…

Anyway, is Mussina a Hall of Famer? Probably. He will certainly get the inevitable bonus points for being a Yankee. However, since he came to the Yanks in ’01, he doesn’t have any World Series rings. In fact, Mussina hasn’t done a lot of things normally associated with great pitchers. While he’s a 6-time Gold Glover, it surprised me that he’s only been on five All-Star teams. Whatever…Mark Redman can tell you that’s irrelevant. Mussina’s never won a Cy Young or led the league in strikeouts or ERA. In fact, despite his 239 career wins, he’s never had a 20-win season. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true. Granted, he did win 19 games in the short, 1995 season, but it had me thinking – who has the most career wins without ever hitting the prestigious 20-game mark?

Any guesses?

Thanks to the awesome Baseball-Reference.com, I found that the answer is…
(answer is in white text – highlight to reveal)

Answer: Dennis Martinez (245)

Also, while sifting through the career wins leaderboard, I couldn’t help but chuckle when I saw the line Charley Radbourn posted in 1884. Check this out…

73 GS, 678.2 IP, 59-12 record, 441 Ks, 98 BBs, 1.38 ERA.

For the record, that’s the most single-season wins and it’s just mind boggling these days and shows how much the game has changed over the past century.

We all know that the M's rotation is their biggest question mark heading into next season. King Felix will be there and should improve upon his decent 2006 season. Washburn will also be there and he'll be...well, he's Jarrod Washburn. The M's have essentially 3 rotation spots to fill, only 2 if you're willing to give the fifth spot to Baek / Woods, which I don't think is the best option. Here are the main free-agent starting pitchers (I hope the formatting looks ok), with their age and rate-stats for last season. The pitchers' names are in white text, so you can see the stats without letting the names skew your decision of who looks best. If you want to see who's who, just highlight in the name column to see the names.

NAME      AGE   T       IP       K%          BB%        GB%
Schmidt    34    R    213    20.10%    8.90%    37.40%
Zito          29    L    221    16%        10.50%    38.20%
Lilly          31    L    181    20.10%    10.20%    37.70%
Meche       28    R    186    19.40%    10.30%    43.10%
Pettite       35    L    214    19.20%    7.50%    49.80%
Glavine      41    L    198    15.50%    7.40%    44.30%
Maddux      41    R    210    13.60%    4.30%    52.20%
Padilla       29    R    200    17.90%    8.00%    44.10%
J. Wright    32    R    156    11.70%    9.50%    58.10%
Suppan      32    R    190    12.40%    8.20%    46.80%
M. Batista   36    R    206    12.10%    9.20%    51.70%
Weaver      30    R    172    13.90%    6.10%    40.90%
Mussina      38    R    197    21.40%    4.20%    42.40%
J. Johnson   33    R    115    10.40%    6.60%    58.10%
T. Armas     29    R    156    14.00%   9.20%     38.20%

Ok, here are some of my thoughts...
*Pitcher #2 looks like one of the worst of the bunch - low K rate, high walk rate and one of the most flyball-prone hurlers on the market. Yep, it's Barry Zito, and he'll certainly be one of the highest-paid SPs out there. No thank you!
*Pitcher #3 is very similar to #1, but he's a lefty and is three years younger. Well, if you didn't figure it out (or cheat) yet, #1 is Jason Schmidt and #3 is Ted Lilly. Which one do you think will be cheaper? That's right...I'll gladly take Lilly over Schmidt. Plus, there's a good chance he'll punch Hargrove in the face!
*If the Yankees don't pick up Moose's option, I really wonder what it would take to get him. Would he accept 2/28? I'm guessing they'll pick up his option, but if they don't - things could get interesting. Remember, Mussina pitched for Hargrove in 2000. Wouldn't you rather have Mussina for 2/30 than Schmidt for 3/45 or 4/55? I sure as hell would!
*Instead of just handing the fifth starter job to Baek, I would certainly take a chance on the cheapest between Jamey Wright, Jason Johnson or Miguel Batista, with my preference being in that order. Raul Chaves loves ground balls - and, I think, the more ground balls you can feed to Beltre, Betancourt and Lopez - the better.
*Sure, Gil Meche is the laughing stock of the Mariners' blogosphere, but he doesn't look too bad in this weak crop. I don't want him back (I'd much rather offer arbitration and take the draft pick), but it will be very interesting to see what he can fetch.
*You'll notice that Randy Wolf and Adam Eaton aren't on the list. Neither threw too many innings last season and I didn't want to start putting previous season stats on the chart, or averaging seasons, etc. And, I don't care where they're from...I wouldn't touch either with a ten-foot pole.
*Kei Igawa, on the other hand, could be a good bargain. I think he would be my Plan B on Ted Lilly. Ideally, I would love to see the M's sign Mussina, Lilly and then Jamey Wright or Jason Johnson. But, I'm probably just dreaming... I think we'll end up with Schmidt and Igawa or Schmidt and Eaton (barf).

Who do you want the M's to sign? Who do you think they'll sign? Who would you like to see them trade for?

Alright, so I’m back from Vegas. It was nice to get away from the rain for a few days. Sorry for the delay of your weekend fix of YouTube baseball vids, but here they are! Better late than never…

Eric Davis guns down Bobby Bonilla in 1990 NLCS


JFK opens baseball season


The greatest Little League catch…ever!


The Simpsons’ funny take on baseball during the most recent Treehouse of Horror…


Kei Igawa pitching

So, I'm off to Vegas for a business trip (maybe I'll see Pete Rose!). I'll be back on Friday night - so YouTube Friday will be a little late. But, there won't be any new posts between now and then (shocking, I know...). In other, nerdier news: Go Sting! :)

The Cardinals' victory parade!


Matsuzaka vs. Ichiro! Hopefully they won't have to face each other ever again!


Cool Jeff Francoeur commercial for Delta...


Classic! See what DMZ was talking about…


Some Oregon State Beavers doing "Sparq Testing"

There are three quick things I wanted to note before I'm off to bed...

1) Sorry it's been kind of lame around here lately. Sure, the YouTube Fridays are fun, but there should be more content between the video posts every Friday. The reason I haven't been posting as often (aside from it being the off season, still unpacking my apartment and being busy at work) is that I'm playing in Aaron Gleeman's Hardball Dynasty league on WhatIfSports.com. I've never played sim baseball before, but it's incredibly fun and I'm already hooked! Seriously, you should check it out for yourself. You are the GM and manager for an entire organization. Everyone gets dealt a variety of players and you have to sign free agents, scour the waiver wire & make trades to improve your team. There's a full season of games - played out in about three months - for your entire organization. I've only been doing it for about a week, but it's a real treat...

2) I'm calling BS on all this stuff coming out that the Mariners aren't going to bid on Matsuzaka. Whatever... He just makes too much sense for them. There's no way that they're not even going to *try*. This is so obviously a smokescreen to try and bring the winning bid down.

3) Since the M's have three rotation spots to fill, they're going to have to get crafty. I already recommended Jason Johnson, but another guy I like became available today when the Giants declined their option on Jamey Wright. On the surface, Wright doesn't look so good. Yep - he was 6-10 with a 5.19 ERA over 156 IP in the National League. But, dig a little deeper and you find a guy that could be a real bargain. His GB/FB ratio was 2.53 which, had he qualified, would have ranked him 6th in MLB last season, behind only Brandon Webb, Derek Lowe, Chien-Ming Wang, Jake Westbrook, and Aaron Cook - and just ahead of King Felix. No, Wright doesn't strike out guys as frequently as Webb or Felix (just 4.56 K/9) , and his walks last season were just a touch higher than ML-average (3.69 BB/9). But, he's just 31 years old and shouldn't cost much. I would certainly take (another) chance on the guy.