I’m baaaaacck! If you're wondering why I haven't posted in a while, it's because I was on a road trip to see the Mariners play. I went with Jon Wells, from The Grand Salami, to do interviews and take pictures for the magazine, and let me tell you - it was a BLAST! Here was our scheduled itinerary: Fly to Chicago on Tuesday, April 12th, get in a car and drive 8 hours down to Kansas City, watch 2 Mariners' games, drive another 8 hours back up to Chicago, watch 2 Mariners' games, drive 3 hours (each way) to see a Peoria Chiefs vs. Wisconsin Timber Rattlers game on Monday, and then fly home on Tuesday. Things didn't exactly go as planned (for me anyway), but I'll get to that later.
We left Jon's house on Tuesday, April 12th at about 11:30. We were eating some food, waiting for our flight, when I got a call from KOMO News. It was a reporter who was with the woman that we stole the gnome from, and she wanted to talk to me about the gnome's adventures. That was a little surreal, but pretty cool. I spoke to the owner of the gnome, and she was really cool. I guess I expected her to not appreciate our little joke, but she really loved it. I didn't know it at the time, but this was just the tip of the iceberg...
Anyway, Jon and I flew to Phoenix, and then to Chicago. We got into Chicago at about midnight, picked up our Pontiac Vibe, and started cruising south, toward Kansas City. The drive down there is about 8 hours, and we didn't have any time to waste, because we had to be at Kauffman Stadium the next morning at 10 a.m. for Wednesday's game. I would rate the Pontiac Vibe a 6 out of 10. It drives pretty smoothly, and it's really cool that a AC adapter comes with the car, but there are some design flaws. For example, the cupholders are in a really awkward place, and if you have your hands at "10 & 2," your right hand blocks the gas gauge.
We got to Kansas City at about 9:15 the next morning and, surprisingly, I wasn't even that tired. I got about 4 hours of crappy sleep on the way down so, combined with my adrenaline, I was good to go. We put our stuff in our hotel and drove across the street to Kauffman Stadium. I really liked Kauffman as a stadium, but the thing I don't like about stadia such as Kauffman and the Oakland Coliseum, is that they're too removed from the city. To me, one of the greatest things about Safeco Field is Occidental Ave., with all the street vendors, musicians and just the cool vibe you get while walking to the ballpark. However, with Kauffman, you drive about a quarter mile off the main road into a huge parking lot before you get to the stadium. Sure, there were a lot of people tailgating before the game, but it's just not the same. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed the stadium, in and of itself, but it's the atmosphere that places like Safeco Field and Fenway Park have, that give them that little extra something.
The entire drive down to Kansas City was rainy and looked pretty crappy. Just before we were driving into Kansas City, there were huge, dark grey clouds over our heads. I was really worried that one (or both) of the games was going to be rained out! When we got to the ballpark though, it was clear and sunny. So, of course I didn't have any sunscreen on, and I got absolutely FRIED. Seriously, if I don't post for a while, it's because I probably died of skin cancer. Send money.
Anyway, back to baseball...So, we got to the park at about 10. We got our stuff set up, and one of the first things I did was interview the Mariners' pitching coach, Bryan Price, for an article that I wrote for the May issue of the Salami, about the abundance of pitching injuries the Mariners' organization has suffered over the past few years. Bryan is a great guy. He's really down to earth and pleasant to speak with. After that, I stood on the field and watched the Mariners stretch, play catch and take some batting practice. One of the best parts of going on road trips to see the Mariners, is being able to watch Ichiro take batting practice. I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again: the man is incredible. He is a treat to watch, and I feel lucky that I get to see him so often. After standing around for a while, I looked over at the batting practice backstop, and who was leaning against it, watching the Mariners hit? Buck O'Neil. It has been a dream of mine to meet Buck O'Neil, and now I finally had my chance. He wasn't at the Royals spring training game I went to last year, and I just missed him when I visited the traveling Negro Leagues exhibit at Chief Sealth High School in February. But, here was my chance and I wasn't about to miss this one! I approached Buck and conducted an interview, that you can read in the May issue of The Grand Salami. He was everything that I imagined he would be. At 93 years old, he is more full of life than most people half his age. He makes everyone around him a better person and the 10 minutes I spent with him single-handedly made the 8-hour drive worth it.
The game that day was a pretty good one. The Mariners squeaked out, 2-1, and a member of the "Glasshouse Gang," Zack Greinke, was pitching very well (6 innings, 4 hits, 0 runs, 0 walks, 2 strikeouts), but Tony Pena pulled him after he only threw 86 pitches. Jaime Cerda came in, and promptly gave up the only 2 runs the Mariners would get all day. Aaron Sele pitched pretty well. The Royals only got 4 hits (one of which was a triple by Matt Stairs. Matt Stairs!) and lost a close one in front of 10,577 people.
After the game, Jon and I went to one of two famous BBQ restaurants in Kansas City, Arthur Bryant’s. Because I’m sure it’s a tourist attraction, it was a little on the expensive side, but it sure was good. Their BBQ sauce was great, and Jon bought a case and shipped it back to Seattle. My only beef with the place (no pun intended…I swear!) was that they didn’t have cornbread. What kind of BBQ joint doesn’t have cornbread?!?
We crashed that night, woke up early to visit the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum, and got back to the ballpark at 10 a.m. again, for Thursday’s game against the Royals. That day, I interviewed Richie Sexson. It was the day before he started missing games due to the flu, and I think he was in the early stages of his sickness, because it wasn’t a particularly great interview. I’ve never met him before, so maybe he’s just a boring guy, but from what I’ve read – I think he just wasn’t feeling 100%. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a bad interview, he just didn’t seem to be in the best of moods. Thursday’s game was a lot better for the Mariners, who whooped the Royals, 10-2. Although he didn’t appear to be feeling well, Sexson still hit a homer, and Ichiro went 2 for 4. One of the coolest parts of that game, however, was getting to see Andy Sisco pitch for the Royals. Sisco went to my high school (Redmond), before transferring to Eastlake for his senior year. He looked really sharp, pitching three innings of mop-up, and only allowing one hit (a bloop single to Ichiro), while striking out four, walking one and not giving up any runs. I really hope that they Royals stick with him, and I think the Cubs are going to regret not putting him on their 40-man roster.
After the game, Jon and I went across the street to get some snacks at the gas station. We were inside the little convenience store and in walks Calvin Pickering! I run out to the rental car and grab my Baseball Prospectus 2005, and have big Calvin sign his page. Jon then made fun of me for traveling with that 568-page book, but I’m glad I did!
Because we were both sunburned and needed to chill out a little before driving 8 hours back up to Chicago, Jon and I decided to go back to the hotel for a little dip in the pool. Even though we had checked out that morning, our keys still worked, and we were down in the pool when my phone rang. To my surprise, it was a woman from Good Morning America, and she was insisting that I fly out to New York City to be on the show the very next morning! Apparently, I was named the Hottest Man in America, barely snubbing Brad Pitt. Ok, not really. The reason a national television show was willing to put me on the next flight out of Kansas City was because of a prank that my friends and I pulled a few weeks earlier. Upon graduating from college, and during my friends’ spring break, five of us jumped in a rental van and drove from Seattle to the Los Angeles area to visit two of our friends living down there. The night before the big trip, I thought it would be cool to steal a garden gnome and take it on the trip with us. So, we found a little retirement village, and had our choice of gnomes. We took one on our vacation, taking pictures with it in Hollywood, San Francisco and Las Vegas. In Hollywood, we even ran into Paris Hilton, gassing up her Bentley GT at an Arco (seriously!), and got her to pose for a picture with the gnome. That picture made it into People Magazine (without me!), which was really cool. We returned the gnome to the owner, with the photo album of its adventures. The owner thought it was really cool, and through a friend of a friend of a friend (or something wacky like that) found out who I was. Pretty soon, the local media picked up on the story, and it just kind of snowballed from there. Prior to being contacted by Good Morning America, the gnome story was on several local news stations and in newspapers. The owner was interviewed on The Today Show, and the gnome thievery even made ESPN’s #2 play of the week.
So, anyway, Jon and I are down in the pool when my phone rings. It’s about 6 p.m. and Annabella, from Good Morning America, asks me how far away from the airport I am. I don’t really know, but tell her I’m about a half hour away. She tells me that she’s going to look for flights for me, and that she’ll call me back in a few minutes. I had goose bumps. I started calling my friends and family, sharing the absolutely mind-boggling news. What was really funny was that both of my parents, separately, told me that I needed to use this TV show appearance to get a job! At 6:15, Annabella called back to tell me that the last flight out of Kansas City was at 6:55. Between 6:00 and 6:15, Jon and I got online to see how far away from the airport we actually were, and it wasn’t 30 minutes, like I originally told Annabella. According to Yahoo! Maps, our hotel was 37 minutes away from the airport. We ran out to our rental car, and I pushed that Pontiac Vibe to the max, driving 90-100 miles per hour, all the way to the airport. It was pretty insane, but I really wanted to make the flight! I got to the airport at 6:44, 11 minutes before my plane was to leave. Luckily the airport in Kansas City is pretty small, and I just barely made it onto the plane, even after being “randomly selected” for a pat-down by the security. (Note to travelers: If you’re sweating and trying to cut in the security line, you’ll probably be screened as well!)
I had a layover in Cincinnati, and then the plane to NYC broke, so we had to wait an extra hour. Anyway, I finally made it into New York at 2:30 in the morning, where I was greeted by a “limo” driver. Mitch Hedberg was right…90% of the time, “limo” really means “Lincoln Towncar.” The driver took me to the Millennium Hotel in Times Square, a 5-star joint that apparently goes for more than $400 per night. I checked in under the pseudonym Homer Simpson (which was Good Morning America’s doing, not mine. I think they put the guests from their show under fake names so that other networks can’t contact them) and put my stuff in my room. Because I didn’t bring one thing on the plane with me, I had to walk down the street to the 24-hour convenience store to get some razors, shaving cream, deodorant and toothpaste. I got back to my room and realized that I needed contact lens solution and a case. D’oh! I had to go back out and grab those things, because I had to take my contacts out if I wanted to get the hour of sleep that was available by then. I wanted to pick up a new shirt for the show, but everywhere was closed. “City That Never Sleeps”…my ass! I tried to talk the concierge into letting me borrow a shirt from the lost and found, but he wouldn’t give in. So, I slept from 4:30 until 5:30, put on the only clothes I had – the same ones I wore the day before – and was in the Good Morning America studio by 6:30 (after getting some Starbucks of course!). I sat around for a few minutes in “Green Room B” before heading down the hall to get my makeup done. The makeup artist gave me a hard time about my sunburn, but made me look nice and tan. After that, it was more sitting around. My friends didn’t get into NYC until 6:25, and I was really worried that they wouldn’t make it to the set in time. I was nervous enough as it was, and wasn’t looking forward to the possibility of being on TV alone! Luckily, traffic for them wasn’t that bad, and they got to the studio at 7:32, 10 minutes before we were supposed to be sitting across from Diane Sawyer. They were literally setting their bags down while the woman was putting makeup on them and a guy was running microphones up their shirts.
We went downstairs to the studio at 7:40, and did our piece. We were interviewed by Diane Sawyer and Robin Roberts (Charles Gibson had the day off), and it was really cool. I thought we did really well, but everyone said I looked nervous. We also caught some flack from some people for not dressing up, but I don’t think anyone really understood the circumstances. After our piece was done, Annabella gave us the grand tour of the place, and then we got to go downstairs and watch Billy Idol play for about a half hour. He closed out the show, so after it was done, we got a few more pictures taken, and then headed across the street to our hotel. I checked out, but Mike and Kelly checked in (as Bart Simpson). Annabella was nice enough to change my flight, so that I could spend the day in New York City with my friends. We put our stuff up in the room, and then headed out into the Big Apple. We went to a lot of cool places: The Carnegie Deli, Central Park, Ground Zero, Wall Street, and Rockefeller Center. We even went out to Queens for a Mets’ game that night against the Marlins, and got in for only $2 each! The three of us were sitting there, eating our crappy Shea Stadium food, when I started booing because I was eating the worst pizza I've ever had in my life. I felt like a real schmuck when I realized that, right when I started booing, the Mets were playing a video tribute to Jackie Robinson. Oops!Unfortunately, Mike Cameron was still on the DL and David Wright didn’t play, but nothing could have taken the smile off of my face...except the fact that I was only wearing a T-shirt, and it was about 35 degrees. We left the game a little early but, needless to say, it was an awesome day!
I was in New York City the day after Gary Sheffield got “punched” in the face, and the funny thing was that two separate people (a guy at Starbucks and my driver to the airport) told me that something like that would never happen at Yankee Stadium, and went on and on about how Yankee fans have “class.” Um…yeah…right. I think the fact that I was so tired during the whole NYC trip was the only thing that saved me from not laughing in their faces.
I flew back to Chicago the next morning, where Jon picked me up at the airport, and we rushed to the White Sox – Mariners game. At this game, I was fortunate enough to catch the shortest game in Mariners’ history! Mark Buehrle of the White Sox, and Ryan Franklin both threw complete games and worked extremely fast. They threw 197 combined pitches, 134 of which were strikes. Clocking in at 1 hour and 39 minutes, the game was the fastest in M’s history since July 16, 1980 when the Mariners lost to the Blue Jays, 5-0, in an hour and 40 minutes. Buehrle only gave up three hits (all to Ichiro!), and struck out 12. To put things in perspective, the game was shorter than most movies, as of press time, the Mariners’ other games this season are, on average, an hour and 10 minutes longer than the 99-minute ballgame in Chicago. If you went into U.S. Cellular Field right when the gates opened, you would have spent nearly as much time watching the players warm up and the groundskeepers rake the infield as you did watching the actual game. On a related note, the fastest game in MLB history took place on September 28, 1919, when the New York Giants beat the Philadelphia Phillies, 6-1, in only 51 minutes!
After the incredibly short ballgame, Jon treated me to my first White Castle experience. It was really awesome, the place is straight grubbin’, but now I’m pissed that Seattle doesn’t have any. Seriously…Dick’s doesn’t even compare to the cheap goodness that is White Castle. I now can appreciate why Harold and Kumar went through all that they did. Damn, just typing this is making me want a few of those little burgers! Unfortunately, the closest White Castle to me is about 1,650 miles away, in Gleeman territory!
I spent the last game in the press box (for all of the others, I was down in a camera well, taking pictures), because I had to do some writing for the May issue of The Grand Salami. So, I didn’t get to watch the game very intently, but what I saw was pretty good. The Mariners roughed up Freddy Garcia, which was nice to see. Ichiro! hit a leadoff home run, and the Mariners won a close one, 5-4, mostly because Ozzie Guillen is a moron. Trying to steal second base on Miguel Olivo, when you’re down by one run in the bottom of the ninth with two outs? Yeah…that’s a good decision!
After the game that afternoon, we went to a concert in Chicago and saw two of the four bands play. The first band we saw was called Hanalei, from Chicago. There were three guys, a bass player, an acoustic guitar player, and an electric guitar player. They played poppy songs to a drum machine, with some really funky beats. Obviously they reminded me of The Postal Service, but they’re not quite as polished. The band that we went so see, was one that Jon really wanted to see again (he saw them in LA 10 years ago), called The Radar Brothers. They were really tight but, unfortunately, I was a little too tired for their soothing sounds, but would love to see them again when I’m not half asleep. I would classify them as “dream rock,” not just because I was so tired during their set, but because the music is really calming and hypnotic. I would certainly recommend both bands to any fans of indie rock. Speaking of music, because we spent so much time on the road, I got the chance to listen to some great new CDs on the trip. Beck got back together with the Dust Brothers for his new CD, “Guero,” and I like it a lot. It’s really funky and Beck even does some rapping in Spanish! Another great, new CD is Hot Hot Heat’s “Elevator.” That thing will have you shaking your booty in no time! Also, my favorite band, Gatsby’s American Dream just released their 3rd full-length album, “Volcano,” and it’s epic. They’re on tour for the next 10 weeks, so go see them if you have the chance. Like a volcano, they’re about to blow up!
Because we weren’t flying out until Tuesday, we checked out of our hotel Monday morning and drove three hours to Peoria, IL for a minor league (low A) game between the Peoria Chiefs (Cubs) and the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers (Mariners). We interviewed the manager of the Timber Rattlers, Scott Steinmann, who you might remember did very well in the Mariners & Padres charity golf tournament. We also spoke to M’s prospect, Matt Tuiasosopo and the pitching coach for the Timber Rattlers, Brad Holman (Brian’s brother). Watching Asdrubal Cabrera and Oswaldo Navarro play defense (even when they’re just shagging balls) is awesome. They both have some serious skill and I can’t wait until they’re in Tacoma, so I can see them more often. Tuiasosopo has some power, but looked pretty awful in a couple at bats – striking out swinging on pitches at his shoulders. We didn’t stick around for the entire game, because we had to drive back to Chicago, but Wisconsin lost because Ryan Harvey hit three dingers. O’Brien Field, where the Chiefs play, is a very nice stadium. We also got to see Mark Reed (Jeremy’s little brother), who is the catcher for the Chiefs, and Eric Patterson (Corey’s brother), who plays second base for the Chiefs.
I finally got back to Seattle on Tuesday, and my dad picked me up at the airport, because he works about 10 minutes away from SeaTac. I hung out at his office for a little while, finished up a few things for The Grand Salami, and then we went to the Tacoma Rainiers game, because “King” Felix Hernandez was pitching. He was pretty shaky in the first inning, but then settled down and started mowing down the Sacramento RiverCats. I got some good photographs for The Grand Salami, and got to sit with Derek and Jeff from the USSMariner blog. Felix is unbelievable. His fastball is intense, his changeup freezes hitters and that curveball is FILTHY! I can’t even imagine what his slider must be like…
So, that concluded the craziest week ever. A few times on the trip, people asked me if I ever get sick of baseball. Sure, the week was really intense, tiring and a little stressful, but I’d do it again next week because, no, I never get sick of baseball!