I'm too tired for anything substantial, but I just wanted to let everyone know that I got one of these today. My girl, Paris, says, "They're Hot!" She's right. Now I can read USS Mariner at Safeco Field, at the grocery store, when I'm stuck in traffic, at the doctor's office, or while I'm taking a dump. Ok, sorry, too much information there at the end, but seriously, this thing rules.

Anyway, it's an awesome phone - and I haven't even figured out how to do everything yet! Expect to see more pictures on the web site now, because, aside from being a phone / web browser, it also has a built-in camera. If only I had it a few days ago when I saw that guy with the Pee Wee Herman tattoo!

 

Jamie Moyer: Not quite old enough.

First off, congratulations to Jamie Moyer for becoming the winningest pitcher in Mariners’ history tonight. Moyer earned his 131st win for Seattle, and on the Mariners' radio broadcast, Dave Niehaus announced that Jamie Moyer pitching to Pat Borders was the oldest battery in Major League history. Niehaus was close, but that isn't quite true. Moyer and Borders have a combined age of 84 years. However, on September 25th, 1965, Satchel Paige pitched three shutout innings for the Kansas City Athletics. Paige was 59 years old when he took the mound that night, and he was throwing his famous "bee balls" to Billy Bryan, a 26 year old catcher. It doesn't take a math whiz to realize that tandem was a year older than Moyer and Borders.

 

“Miguel Olive Oil”

Today the Mariners optioned Miguel Olivo to AAA and brought up catcher Rene Rivera from AA-San Antonio. I realize that something had to be done about Olivo, who was hitting .145/.174/.236, but will Rivera be much better? Obviously it's easy for the team to improve when Olivo is putting up those kind of numbers, but Rivera has a minor-league career line of .253/.310/.369 and has 18 at-bats above AAA.

 

Feeling a Draft…

In the final hour before the deadline, both Jered Weaver and Stephen Drew signed contracts with the teams that drafted them almost a year ago. Weaver signed with the Angels for $4 million, and Drew signed a contract with the Diamondbacks that will pay him at least $5.5 million. This could be great news for the Mariners, because there have been rumors that the Diamondbacks, who have the first-overall pick in next week's amateur draft, are going to pick another Boras client - as kind of a "package deal." Boras' top "advisees" this year are pitchers: Mike Pelfrey from Wichita State, Luke Hochevar from Tennessee, and Craig Hansen, St. John's closer. That would leave the two best position players, Justin Upton and Alex Gordon, for the Royals and Mariners. Personally, I would prefer Gordon, but I'd be happy with either. I'm still crossing my fingers...

 

Hammerin’ Cameron

Who has more doubles, more triples and as many home runs than Adrian Beltre? Unfortunately, lots of guys. But, who has all that with less than half of Beltre's at-bats? My favorite ballplayer, Mike Cameron. If you haven't noticed, Cammy's been tearing the cover off of the ball. After missing the first month of the season due to off-season wrist surgery, Cameron is currently hitting .373/.475/.699! Part of the reason that he's doing so well is that, so far, he's cut down on his strikeouts while increasing his walks. Right now, 20% of Cameron's plate appearances are resulting in strikeouts. His strikeout percentages for the last four seasons are: 25, 22, 27 and 24. He's walking 14% of the time, better than his previous paces of 10, 11, 12 and 12 percent. With Cliff Floyd hitting a very respectable .277/.346/.524, Carlos Beltran obviously not going anywhere, and 23-year-old Victor Diaz hitting .280/.407/.505, the Mets might have more of a logjam than the Reds.

 

Crown Contenders

It's probably a little early to be talking about this, but there are Triple Crown candidates in each league. In the American League, A-Rod is currently fourth in batting average (although he is 40 points behind the surprising Brian Roberts), but he's also leading the league in home runs and runs batted in. Over in the Senior Circuit, Derek Lee is currently neck-and-neck with Miguel Cabrera for the lead in batting average, and already has the lead in dingers and ribbies. Personally, I think the Triple Crown is overrated, but the simple fact that it hasn't been done in 37 years is impressive.

I didn't get to see the game, because I had to work, but the M's finally scratched out a win to stay one game better than last year's pathetic pace. Aaron Sele has now strung together three good starts, putting any talks of his release on hold. With Pat Borders behind the plate for Sele again, I'm sure Borders will be getting more playing time. Especially combined with the fact that Olivo has been horrible and the old guy hit his 69th round-tripper today.

John Olerud became the 199th player in baseball history to play for both the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees. Olerud had a great debut, and if you go to the ESPN stats page, it shows his picture for the AL leader in batting average, even though he only has 6 at bats. It kind of takes me back to 1993...

Great interview with Chris Snelling "Doyle" right here.

In other news, I was in Woodinville today and I saw a self-proclaimed "Very Disabled" man begging for money. He had a sleevless shirt on, and when he walked by, I saw that he had a large portrait tattoo on his right shoulder. I figured it was Jesus, but then I looked again and realized that it was, in fact, Paul Reubens. That's right...the guy had Pee Wee Herman tattooed on his arm! I really need a camera phone. Next week...

I didn't realize that ESPN did comedy, but this had me laughing out loud! If you don't want to click the link, the Chicago Cubs have told Carlos Zambrano to cut back on his computer use, because it might be causing his elbow problems. That's like telling a fireman not to smoke, because he might burn himself. Did the Cubs ever think that maybe, just maybe, his elbow problems are the result of extremely high pitch counts? As far as Baseball Prospectus' "Pitcher Abuse Points," Zambrano is currently ranked 2nd this year, he ranked 3rd last year and 10th in 2003.

Sorry, it's been a while since I've updated this bad boy. Don't worry, I'm alive and well. The lack of updates have been a combination of a few things... 1) I just got a new job and have been reeeeallllly busy. Seriously, I'll have put in 47 hours this week. 2) On top of that, it's deadline time for the work I do for The Grand Salami. Add another 10 hours of writing! And... 3) The M's have been pretty depressing lately, and I'm sick of writing "Welp, the M's lost...again..."

Anyway, I have Monday and Tuesday off and will try to get some stuff up on here. We'll see.

In other news: This Guy got hit - not once - but TWICE today. I think he's cursed. Please send rabbit's feet, horseshoes and four-leaf clovers to: Tacoma Rainiers c/o Chris Snelling 2502 S. Tyler St., Tacoma, WA 98405.

Coming Soon: An interview with Micah Owings and, um...other stuff!

The M's have played 35 games this season.

Games in which the M's have scored 7 or more runs: 8

Games in which the M's have scored 2 or less runs: 13

I got the new ESPN Magazine in the mail today and, as I was flipping through it, I noticed they did an interview with Mark Kotsay. It's one of those interviews where they interview an athlete, one of his teammates and his wife, to see who knows him better - the teammate or the wife. But, instead of putting a picture of Kotsay, ESPN accidentally put a picture of Rich Harden. Oops!

In other news, if this doesn't result in a lawsuit, I'll be very surprised!

*I wonder how many times Mike Hargrove burned himself on the stove when he was a kid. I'm seriously starting to question the guy's intelligence. Moyer struggled today and left the game in the third inning, with the Mariners down 6-5, so who comes in to replace him? Matt Thornton. Thornton proceeded to give up six more runs over two innings, and that was basically the game. Good choice Mike!

*Because they have an off day, the Mariners are talking about possibly skipping someone in the rotation, but right now we're looking at Gonzalez vs. Pineiro, Miller vs. Franklin and Wakefield vs. Meche. Personally, I have a really bad feeling about the Red Sox coming to town. The M's have lost 10 of their last 11 games and I don't think it's getting better any time soon. I'm setting the over/under for the number of runs the Sox score during the series at 20. Place your bets...

*The Rockies claimed Randy Williams off waivers from the Padres. Is it just me, or does it seem like every pitcher that leaves the M's organization somehow ends up in Colorado. Hey Dan O'Dowd - Ryan Anderson's available!

*Speaking of the Rockies, they traded Mike Restovich to the Pirates for a PTBNL. Restovich is a solid player (certainly better than Brad Hawpe or Choo Freeman), putting up a .285/.364/.492 line over his minor league career and a very similar .274/.364/.442 over his 113 at-bats in the majors. I thought he'd stick (and shine) in Colorado, but I guess not. Although he hits more groundballs than flyballs, he's relatively young (26) and makes the league minimum. Somehow I doubt the Rockies will get something as good in return.

*How about that Tino Martinez?! He's going crazy. He's hit a home run in five consecutive games now. My first reaction is, "Remind me again why the Mariners ever traded this guy?!" I was actually in favor of the M's signing him to a short-term deal this off-season, but they went big at first base instead. Check this out...

Tino Martinez's HRs after leaving the Mariners: 243

M's regular first basemen in the same time period: 163

Tino's collective VORP after leaving the Mariners: 284.1

M's regular first basemen's collective VORP ('96-'05): 300.8

Money Tino's made after leaving the Mariners: $49,900,000

Money M's have spent on regular 1B, '96-'05: $48,775,000

Would I have preferred the M's sign Tino to a one-year deal, instead of Sexson for four years? Sure. But, as you can see, the M's have done well at first base in the post-Tino era.

>Earth to Mike Hargrove: Use your crappy pitchers in blowouts and your good pitchers in close games, not the other way around! After using Matt Thornton and Jeff Nelson last night in a tie game against the Yankees, "Grover" used Mateo, Putz AND Shiggy tonight, when the M's were down by 5 runs for most of the game. This is just ridiculous...

>I know wins for pitchers are greatly overrated, but I feel sorry for Zack Greinke (and not just because he's on my fantasy team!). He's pitching really well, but since the Royals suck, he's piling up the losses. Zack Greinke's girlfriend* must feel really sorry for him as well. I hope he's smart enough to realize that it's mostly his teams' fault that he's not getting the wins. His next scheduled start is against Tampa Bay, so there's hope. Buuuuttt....his next 4 scheduled starts after that are against: St. Louis, Texas and the NY Yankees (x2). In related news, after the Royals started the season 8-25, Tony Pena took the easy way out and resigned. BTW: Every time I say "Greinke," I think of the stupid Crocodile Hunter.

>The Milwaukee Brewers are a smarter organization than most people give them credit for. Doug Melvin is certainly on the right track, and one thing that I especially like about this year's Brew Crew is the bullpen. I'm a firm believer in building bullpens on the cheap, and Melvin has done just that. There are 8 guys who have had regular relief appearances, and the average salary in the 'pen is a measley $391,625. The Brewers relief corps has a combined VORP of 20.9 which, compared to the total salary, is almost certainly the best in baseball. I can't do it now (new job = tired Conor), but I plan to do a bullpen analysis of every team in baseball. P.S. If you want to read about the Brewers, this is the place to do it!

>Dustin Hermanson recently passed Andy Sisco as the "best reliever in baseball," according to VORP. It's a slim margin, so hopefully KC's new manager will continue to use Sisco regularly.

>The strange news of the day comes out of Virginia. The news is that people in Virginia are visiting this site waaaayyy more frequently than people in the rest of the country. In fact, since June 1st, there have been 448 visits from Virginia, and only 179 from Washington. I don't get it. But, if you're from Virginia (thanks, first of all), e-mail me and tell me why you're here!

*Yes, just another shameless attempt to get more hits on the site!

P.S. Sorry about the funky font changes. I really have no clue what I'm doing, and if something fucks up, I never know how to fix it. I had it at school, but I need to get BlogJet installed on my home computer...