I wish someone’s watching over Felix…with a halo and some wings
I wish Beltre wouldn’t point to the ump on his own check swings
I wish Ichiro would take a pitch when the count’s 3-0
I wish four of our five starters didn’t blow

I wish Jose Lopez would stop going the other way
I wish Brandon Morrow was a starter in Double-A
I wish the hitters could pick up the pace
I wish our manager wasn’t such a disgrace

I wish our prospects all blossom and shine
I wish Lincoln and Armstrong would just resign
I wish Snelling and Raffy weren’t traded away
I wish the wind would catch Rizzs’ toupee

I wish Mateo would only pitch when we’re up or down by eight
I wish Bloomquist were from a different state
I wish Tui keeps pounding the ball
I wish the M’s would win it all!