He really put the LABOR into that whole "labor of love" thing I was talking about!

2) Mound Conference Theatre

It's too bad the pictures aren't there anymore, but it's still hilarious!

3) Evil Rick Rizzs

It would be a work of comedic genius to have Evil Rick Rizzs narrate a mound conference!

4) Post from 6/28/2003 by JMB

Overheard at the ballpark, 6/28/03:

Son: Dad, what’s O-B-P?

Father: That’s on-base percentage. It’s what his batting average is when there are runners on base.

Way to breed ignorance, moron.

5) Why I Don't Want Miguel Tejada

This was a very rational analysis of why trading for Tejada would be a bad idea for the Mariners. Dave has done some great work like this but, like I said in the comments to this post, I thought this was one of the best posts I've ever seen on USSM. The type of analysis presented here puts the local beat writers and columnists (Derek excluded!) to shame.

6) Statistical Breakdown of the King

and

7) More Felix Fun

When Felix first came up to Seattle, there was so much excitement. Remember the USSM game threads on days when Felix pitched? Sometimes they reached 500 comments! I hope that excitement carries over to the 2006 season and these are two posts that detail why Felix is The King. Can't...stop...drooling...

8) "The Ron Fairly Drinking Game" from 9/28/2003 by DMZ

The next game you watch, listen closely to how many times Fairly starts a sentence with "well…" in order to give himself a second lead time as his brain struggles to come up with an answer. Drives me insane. It’s like having a neighbor with wind chimes, or sitting near some woman who insists on snapping her gum every five seconds.

If you’re into alcohol poisoning (and who isn’t), here’s the Ron Fairly Drinking Game

1 drink:

"out over the plate"

"play for one run"

"put the game in motion"

"good piece of [hitting/pitching/fielding/bench-warming]"

"think opposite field" or "don’t [try/want] to pull the ball"

"Mariners are going to have to [score some runs/put some runs on the board]"

chug:

"As you can see…" (refering to on-screen graphic)

"I’ll tell you what…"

Highly Dangerous Bonus Chugging

"As we mentioned in the [x] inning…" = group must drink beers equal to number of innings between original comment and reference. Days count as 9 (for instance, a comment he made two days before= 18 beers for the group).

I should just keep this updated and stick it up on the sidebar, now that I think about it.

9) Trade Value

This was a really fun, Bill Simmons-esque look at the 40 most valuable players in the game, according to Dave. I also enjoyed Dave's post about which players he'd select at each position to build a franchise, but couldn't find it in the archives...even with the new Google Search feature.

10) Free Agent Landmines

Like I mentioned in the comment about the Tejada post is that one of the main things I've learned from reading USSMariner over the past few years is about relative value for baseball players. Alot of web sites probably listed these guys as some of the top free agents for this year's class, but you can't just look at past performance when looking at free agents. Looking strictly at past performance is why most free agents aren't good deals. Sure, the guy played well in the past, but what will he do in the future? That's what's important, especially when several million dollars is involved. Oh...and guess who's number one on Dave's list of potential landmines: Jarrod Washburn!

So, there you have it. There have been so many fantastic posts over the past few years that I know I'm leaving out some gems. If I remember or find something else, I'll add it to the list. But, really, I just wanted to write a post thanking the guys over at USSMariner for all the hard work they do to keep baseball fanatics, like myself, entertained and informed. I, for one, really appreciate all that they do and will continue to do everything in my power to help it continue. Because we all know what I would rather be doing!

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